Teaching our little one’s responsibility and ultimately respect are two of the most important things we have to do as their parents. Now more than ever kids need to be taught these important topics. They are growing up in an era where screens are more important than human interaction and entitlement is at an all-time high.
These lessons need to start from us as their role models and need to be instilled in them from an early age. Parents need to lead by example. I firmly believe it is never too young to start teaching children manners and etiquette. I follow the five tips below and I assure you, if you practice any of these, your child may surprise you too.
‘A Mother’s greatest masterpiece is her Children!’
Here are some easy and effective tips on instilling respect in your kids from an early age…
All Actions Have Reactions – and all kids will test boundaries. They will intentionally do something, knowing they shouldn’t, then immediately look at us (their parents) for our reaction. Always stay calm and model positive behavior first. Then practice corrective behavior every time you see them do something wrong. As daunting as it may seem its crucial or they will ultimately think it’s ok.
An example of this is when my son snatches a toy from his sister’s hand. He will immediately look at me to see if I’m going to yell at him. Instead, I shake my head ‘No’. If I see him do it again, I will walk over to him tell him No again and ask him if he wants to use the toy she is using. If he says yes, I have him ask her for it and offer to swap toys with her instead of just taking hers.
Set Age Appropriate Chores – Depending on the age of your child the chores may vary slightly but should all be implemented in their every day routines. Chores help kids learn responsibility and make them feel in control. Including them in a task will also make them feel important and needed.
Some examples of chores I assign to my 2.5 year old are cleaning up his play room, getting his own snack when he is hungry or helping me set the table for dinner. He is also responsible for placing his soiled underpants in the hamper before his bath at night. Instead of throwing it on the floor for Mama to pick up every night this is one of his chores that will not only teach him responsibility but hygiene as well!
Make the Rules Crystal Clear and the Consequences Even Clearer! Before I became a Mom I hated hearing parents yelling at their kids. Today as a Mom of two under three years old, I still hate hearing parents screaming. Screaming over their crying kid, kids fighting back towards the parents and ultimately no message getting across. As a new Mom I had no idea how I would keep my cool but I knew I would have to figure it out. No kid is perfect but as I mentioned earlier, they will all test us and learn from us so we have to make the rules clear from the start.
Now that I am a Mom, I realize it is surprisingly possible. Kids (& adults) listen better when spoken to in a normal tone. Once the tantrum is in effect, it’s too late. Set the rules early and make them clear. Squatting down to their level and making eye contact with them when speaking about something serious is important. This will let them know you mean business.
An example of this would be if you know you are going to the beach, you would speak to your Toddler in the car about the importance of staying next to Mommy and Daddy. Explain stranger danger or whatever else may be relevant at the time. Also explain if you don’t listen then ‘X’ will happen. Then it is your responsibility to stick to it if they do disobey you. Make the consequence realistic so you can follow though. The absolute worst thing we can do is go back on our word. This is important because if you don’t follow through with the consequence, they won’t take you seriously the next time around.
Hold Them Accountable – If your child does something wrong, hold them accountable. It is up to you to raise your children the way you see fit. If we say not to do something and they do it, we hold them accountable. Explain the situation and clarify what they did wrong rather than simply punish. Have them repeat to you what they did wrong and tell you why they shouldn’t do it. You might think your child doesn’t understand but they are soaking it all in even if it’s the millionth time you’re telling them.
Applaud Positive Behavior – Applaud Positive Behavior – Again, every action has a reaction. Positive actions should have positive reactions. Although teaching kids to be respectful and responsible may feel like mission impossible, the reality is it is not as impossible as it may seem. It is equally as important to correct wrong action as it is to praise the right ones. Being consistent will give your children the knowledge they need to be respectful in the future. It is crucial to their future so it is 100% worth the effort. These are important characteristics that will help them to be successful in school, in their careers or as future parents. Whenever you see your child doing something positive as big or small as it may seem, take note and let them know that made you proud.
I hope these tips can help you with your child and help us all raise our kids to the best of our ability. Simple actions like staying calm, identifying the problem and assigning age appropriate chores will go a long way! Stick to it and it will certainly pay off.
