As the saying (usually) goes… First comes love, then comes Marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage. Just when you thought you have your spouse figured out you now throw a BABY into the mix. It is so important to be a team as Husband and wife in all aspects of life.
My husband and I don’t have it all figured out by any means but we do certain things now that definitely help us get through tough situations. In being together almost 15 years, we learned through trial and error what works for us. All relationships are hard work no matter how perfect they seem. Like all things, if you put in the work, you will reap the benefits.
Divide & Conquer
There are so many things to get done in a day between work, kids, housework, grocery shopping, etc. that working as a team is crucial. The end goal is to get everything done while still being semi-sane at the end of the night. If there are 10 things on the to-do list, you don’t have to do everything together. Instead, divide and conquer. By doing this and working equally towards the same goals, it will free up time to then enjoy one another.
Communicate
No matter how much we all think our spouse should be able to read our minds at this point, it doesn’t happen. Men are men and women are women. We all have our own thought processes. Talking about things is vital to any relationship. Find a way that works for you and your spouse. Make it a point to have alone time without your phones or tv and really listen to one another.
Pick Your Battles
You will annoy your spouse and your spouse will annoy you more often than you would like. You have to ask yourself two important questions… Is this worth a fight? Will this matter in a year from now? If the answer if no, move on. I constantly have to remind myself of this when my Husband doesn’t do something the right way (aka MY WAY…haha). I then realize that he still gets it done so that’s all that matters. Right!
Never Fight In Front Of The Kids
As hard as it is to not scream in the moment, try to refrain. It is not healthy for you or your children to have them in the middle of the argument. This is also a best practice because I find that when I wait it out, it also gives me time to decompress and I realize it wasn’t even that serious to begin with.
Complement One Another
Let’s admit it…We all love to hear compliments once in a while. Whether your Husband did a good job cutting the grass himself or if your wife looks beautiful after finally taking her mom-bun down and doing her hair, give the compliment. It just feels good!
Review Finances Together
As I’m sure we are all aware, both marriage and parenting can cause a lot of financial strain on a relationship. When you review your finances together there is no grey area in terms of how much is left over after all the monthly bills are paid. This helps both partners be on the same page. You can take this a step further and come up with a monthly budget sheet to work towards savings goals for your children’s college!
Consult With One Another Before Making Big Decisions
This has a lot to do with respect for one another. Before I make a big decision, whether it be financial or for our family, I make sure to consult with my Husband first. It’s not because I can’t make the decision on my own, it’s more out of respect for him and vice versa. I want him to know I value his opinion and making the decision jointly helps alleviate any pressure.
Be Grateful For One Another
Take time to appreciate what you have and you will naturally become a happier person. Appreciate not only your Husband or wife but also your children. If your kids behaved at the restaurant be sure to take a moment and appreciate their behavior. If your Husband came back from the grocery store with your favorite snack that wasn’t on the list, acknowledge it. If your wife vacuumed out your car without you asking, be grateful. A grateful heart helps focus on the positive and minimizes stress. At the end of a long day, I like to lay in bed and try to think of 3 things I’m grateful for from the day no matter how big or small.
Go ahead and give these a shot! Would love to know what other things help you and your spouse be better partners in life. Please share!
